This morning, I experienced a near-leak half a step closer to disaster than my previous experience: this time, I was - again - lying half-awake, trying to sneak as many extra minutes in bed before getting up to empty my bag as possible, when I caught a whiff of something rather unpleasant. Horrified, I sat up, only to discover my bag hanging off of my stomach in a similar fashion to before, only my stoma was showing through the side where the adhesive had failed. I hopped the two metres (thank goodness!) to the bathroom, emptied, tucked a wad of toilet roll in the gap and went to find my appliance bag: time for another 6am bag change. Lovely.
It's surprised me how much this has affected me today, actually. I mean, I still haven't experienced a leak, as such, but the closeness of the situation has both put me on edge and lowered my spirits. Neither are probably helped by the fact that I didn't get back to sleep properly after the change and so I had, in total, around 4.5 hours sleep last night.
We got back late last night from a trip into London. My dear husband & I frequently attend a bar where they do a lot of gin events, and last night was my first such trip since my operation. It was great to see our London friends and get back into wider company, although I won't deny that I was quite anxious about pretty much everything (from emptying in a public bathroom stall to what to say to people as to why I've been absent for two months). It went well, though; I emptied without any problems, had no leaks and only a couple of awkward silences where people were obviously wanting to say, "How are you?" without implying that they wanted the whole story on my absence. I enjoyed myself and it was wonderful to see my husband back in another of his "natural environments", full of energy and enthusiasm and smiles.
In other good news, the alcohol that I tried on our trip gave me no ill effects, and I chose what I wanted in the pizza restaurant and, also, received no "punishment" for doing so (although I'm amused to note that spinach - even well-chewed spinach - doesn't digest completely in the small intestine, despite being a mere leaf). I made sure to drink lots of soft drinks throughout the evening, too, and - fortunately, given the impromptu bag change requirement - awoke with no hint of a headache, nor any other signs of dehydration, for which I'm very grateful.
It was wonderful to get back to normal, for those brief moments when I forgot what has happened over the past two months and just be myself. I can see why getting back into these kinds of things are good for you, even if you do have the occasional accident. Leaks will happen, but they're nothing to be ashamed of. Just keep smiling, deal with the physical implications, and remember that that operation saved your life.
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