My first major leak

I haven't written in a while, because things have generally been going really well: I haven't had any further symptoms, my scar's faded from the vibrant pink that it was a couple of months ago, and my stoma has been behaving itself. I've also learned a lot about how my body digests food and thought that I knew, at least roughly, when I would need to empty my bag, so the need to do so had started to seem like less of an inconvenience and more of something that just happened.

Yesterday, though, I had my first major leak. I posted ages ago on once waking up in the morning to find half of my bag coming loose in the night, but I now realise that even calling that a "near-leak" was wholly inappropriate. Nothing about that experience can compare to the horror and embarrassment that I felt when I reached the bathroom, went to lift my ostomy belt and realised that there was output everywhere between my bag and my skirt. 

Fortunately, I was both at home by the time that I realised this and had loads of layers on (handy, output-catching layers). We'd just returned from a meal out at Pizza Hut and a brief trip to Tesco, so all I can think now is thank goodness I didn't go to the bathroom and find it out there. 

Argh. I'm not going to let this get me down too much, but it's frustrated me more than I'd anticipated. I had a little cry after I'd cleaned myself up and my wonderful husband gave me a hug and I felt better, but I can't help but still find it worrying that I'd effectively soiled myself without realising. I literally had no idea about it until I went to empty my bag.

After taking some time to reflect, I realised that there had been a couple of signs. Firstly, just before we went to the restaurant, the skin underneath my bag was pretty itchy. Also, yesterday morning, the side of my bag that eventually leaked looked odd after I had showered, like the water had effected it more than usual; I assumed it would dry out and all would be okay. On top of this, I had had such a wonderful - and distracting - meal with my husband that I didn't empty my bag at all whilst we were out, which wasn't a great plan. 

Ah well, at least it's happened now and I know that I coped with it, even if there were a few tears. None of this is worse than the symptoms of inflammatory bowel disease and I'm still alive thanks to my ileostomy, so I'm taking it as another baby step - albeit a slightly more messy one - on the road back to normality. And I'm so close!